Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Smile

When you’re out and about, do you smile?  Have you ever thought about smiling as a mission?  A ministry? 

I spent last weekend in Greensboro at the Women of Faith conference and was challenged by one of the guest speakers, Andy Anderson.  In the middle of his hilarious talk, he gave an example about being different--a bold, “living” Christian without really saying much at all….just smiling.  We were in stitches over his antics illustrating how when you sincerely smile at others, they impulsively respond with a smile, and they have no clue why they’re smiling at you.  You could ask them anything with a huge, gaping grin on your face and they’ll grin back, affirming whatever you said.   Then, Andy chortled, start adding that happy little nod in there and you’ll get even more enthusiastic responses.

Yes, yes, of course when I go out, I try to be pleasant and polite, sometimes with the motive to cheer up the clerk, cashier or customer service rep, thinking that it’s the right thing to do, that they have a rough job dealing with crabby, self-focused shoppers and I don’t want to add to that burden, etc.  Sometimes that attitude is driven by fear, because I was on the receiving end of bad attitudes while working in a restaurant.  But passively gliding through such interactions doesn’t take much effort (unless I’m having a REALLY rotten day).  And, to be honest, sometimes even being nice is being selfish….I want everyone to be pleased with me or to treat me nicely, ‘cause I’m trying to be sweet.

But REALLY smiling….the kind of smile where you look the person in the eye with a purposeful, sincere, I-care-about-you-and-want-to-shine-the-light-of-Jesus-into-your-soul kind of look, takes way more effort.  It’s different then smiling so someone will be pleasant in return or to keep the grade of their work day from dipping.  Active loving is harder than that and I am no longer a part of the equation.  I have to forget about me and make it all about them.  It becomes a ministry and a gift of love and I must really pay attention.

Summoning the courage to search out and hold someone’s gaze and not let it go until they “accept” my smile isn’t easy for a recovering wall flower and introvert.  Talk about butterflies.  But I began experimenting and the results are encouraging….I was prepared to minister, but I didn’t expect to have my heart drawn towards the “stranger on the street”. 

It took a few eternal seconds of purposeful, earnest smiling in Target the other day (stomach flipping), before the customer service rep finally noticed.  She gave me another look, right in the eye, and called me sweetie.

DSC_0197  P.S. Taking a baby with you is cheating….

4 comments:

Anne said...

I never thought I'd say this, but "cheat" all you want. I don't think anyone will mind. <3

Anne said...

And isn't it interesting that babies already give this kind of smile to complete strangers!

Sam & Chelsea said...

I'm constantly surprised how kind friendly perfect strangers are when they see Eva...it's fun to be a little spoiled. :-)

Ruth Cooper Project said...

Proud of you! I personally believe a smile is the most wonderful gift you can give to another human being. :)